Hells, 'm tired. Tired and exhausted and sick of this. Been sick of this since junior year and I think I'm burning myself out. I miss, damnit, I miss something but I've got not the least clue what it is. I kinna want to just collapse and curl up and not wake up again. No, I don't want to die. Still too much of a survival instinct to try that. But I want to stop being tired, stop the sadness that washes over me whenever my brain doesn't have something else to think about and isn't blanked like I usually make it. I feel like I've failed someone, something, some time in the past. Badly, not just the little failures that happen day to day with some successes- big or small. The worst thing about it is that I can't stop prodding at that little bundle of emotion.

Heya, all. Been a while since I posted, neh?

Well, m'n college now, and 's been nice. Time's fly'n by so fast!

In some was 's still slow, though, mostly in what've been getting done. Oh well. Should really get myself doin' project or two of codin' and get to doin' my resume.

Been a bit depressed lately. Mild depression, the counselor called it afore I came to college. Hah. If that's mild depression, I've had it since early ninth, late eighth. Fragged lack of sleep and dreams of things that ain't mine. M'life is just fine , damnit to the nine hells. None of the shit about loss and pain is mine.

Mood: Amused/frustrated. (Yes, that is an odd combination)

I was to forget,
Everything that happened between us.
(A locket, gold lettering on wood: Friends forever)
I was to forget,
What hast transpired in thine world--
Now mine.
(A howling battle-cry, a shadowy enemy)

We were comrades, friends, family
Along a dark and lonely road.
(Two friends, holding hands, in a shadowed forest)
We part as strangers never met,
We who once were friend.
(No recognition as two pairs of eyes meet... and turn away)
All that passed but a dream.
(Images swirl into a surreal blur)

I remember, though.
If only in dream.
(A figure, staring out into the darkness, waiting)
Nothing is left, for me,
Of thee and thine world.
(A cry. It was mine world too!)
Nothing, but shadows of memory.
(The figure turns away. Who was I waiting for?
Nobody, whispers the wind.)

If only... I could have said goodbye.

(A single tear...)

Greeting/Welcome/Introduction Post

First blog coming online. And likely to be a dumping ground for random thoughts.

*cheers*

Well, here we go.

Today is... Sunny.

Mood: Bored.