Hells, 'm tired. Tired and exhausted and sick of this. Been sick of this since junior year and I think I'm burning myself out. I miss, damnit, I miss something but I've got not the least clue what it is. I kinna want to just collapse and curl up and not wake up again. No, I don't want to die. Still too much of a survival instinct to try that. But I want to stop being tired, stop the sadness that washes over me whenever my brain doesn't have something else to think about and isn't blanked like I usually make it. I feel like I've failed someone, something, some time in the past. Badly, not just the little failures that happen day to day with some successes- big or small. The worst thing about it is that I can't stop prodding at that little bundle of emotion.